Time and time again I encounter such thoughts in which I state to myself, "I want to go home." What's strange about this is that these thoughts sometimes occur when I am already home. I still live in the house I grew up in....i.e. home.
Makes me recall that scene from garden state:
"Andrew: You know that point in your life when you realize the house you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of a sudden even though you have some place where you put your shit, that idea of home is gone.
Sam: I still feel at home in my house.
Andrew: You'll see one day when you move out it just sort of happens one day and it's gone. You feel like you can never get it back. It's like you feel homesick for a place that doesn't even exist. Maybe it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't ever have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, [...]"
I feel like I've lost my sense of home since I've moved back to northern Kentucky/back to my house. My family/friends/boyfriend are still home to me but when I see refuge from any of those at a given time, I feel lost. I wonder if this is why when I drive at night (random drives to clear my head) I always end up at the same place. Maybe that's home--my dad's area. Or maybe it's just the wilderness that is home. I'm not sure...but I hope to reestablish home to myself at some point.
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